Originally Posted by DesertDawg

The problem with alcohol (at least for me) is that it is not like potato chips or chocolate chip cookies: When I eat those things, I want more and more, but eventually I get sick of them and don't want any more. With vodka, I want more and more, never get sick of it, and will only stop when I pass out. And as soon as I wake up, the first thing I want to do is get more. I had to put myself in rehab, where there was no possibility of getting a drink, to break the cycle and re-program myself.

I now know that little bit of initial relaxation from that first sip of alcohol will essentially flip that switch in my brain. And it's off to the races. There can/will be no other outcome from taking a drink. I understand that now; before I got sober I maintained the illusion that I could control it. I tried and failed enough times that now I know better, and I've given up even entertaining the possibility.