LT- my empathy and support to you. I was like that- the pissed one. A elf- caused catastrophic event (ccident- booze) drove my family finally and completely away. For their own sanity. I respect that and do not blame them. I leave them be and focus on my sobriety (ok). Pointis- you have a right to be happy, safe and have a life now- not put it on hold until 'things get better' - or 'back to normal'. Addiction does not work that way. Perhaps go to al-anon and seek support? There is also a lot of info/narratives and support at SR. There is also a women's only thread.
Keep posting, stay safe. PJ.