Is this normal?
My addict H has been in AA for 6 wks, and has psych appointments and grief counseling weekly. Well he has cancelled his grief counseling and does not intend to reschedule and he said his doctor thinks he only needs to come to appts every other week now. The problem is that I felt something was 'off' and I asked him if he was keeping ALL his appts and he looked right at me and said yes. (LIE) So I called his doctor ( I have a release of information so I can be sure he is doing what he says he is doing...keeping apps etc...) They confirmed my suspicions. Long story short- I got mad that he lied, he got mad that I got mad and gave him a drug test (was clean) We fought, tried talking about lying, he then tells me he resents me for telling our children that he was using and that it was his place to do so....(but he lies about most everything, so cannot trust him to actually do that) he yelled at me for "zeroing in on one thing and nitpicking," but it was just me asking a question about the past because it related to what we were arguing about at the present. And then he throws something i did at me from the past. I guess my question is is it normal to be like this? We cannot communicate, or resolve old issues because 1) he lies, and 2) he gets pissed and tells me I'm holding things over his head. In all honesty, I just need clarity on old issues that is why I mention them. I just don't know what is normal or not...kinda just needing some experience, strength, and hope. Thanks all.