I was where you're at at 19. I was well on my way there at 16.
I didn't sober up until 21 when I just could not take it anymore. I hated myself, I hated my life and one day in the middle of a binge, I just knew that if I didn't stop drinking I was going to die. I saw then that I couldn't live with alcohol and I couldn't live without it.
And even though I figured life was pretty much over if I stopped drinking and was going to be dull and boring, I got help to stop anyway.
After being stopped for a while, I learned that my life actually began when I surrendered and chose sobriety. Although I couldn't see it at first, life got better beyond what I could have even imagined.