Need advice from parents?
Or those who have been through something similar. I have a pre-teen daughter with an attitude. I am sober and she has it in her head all alcohol is dangerous, in any amount. Her father and I drank heavily when she was little and are divorced.
Her father and wife have told her (apparently) to search my garbage or something similar because she looks in there when I am in other rooms. She searches my closet and places to find alcohol. She never finds any. Yet, she still looks.
However, MY father drinks socially and we went over there last weekend. He sat down with one beer after working all day at 7pm. I didn't see it and she chimed in and said "Well look at you over there". No one said anything and I kept watching TV.
She was not satisfied with being ignored so she said "That's an interesting drink you have there grampa!". It wasn't curiosity, it was to let it be known she thinks alcohol is unacceptable. My mom told her not to start trouble and that's when I saw the beer.
I have told her time and time again that adults are allowed to consume alcohol. I have explained how driving after drinking works. I have told her about peer pressure and I told her in front of everyone (humiliating) that "Grampa is not driving home and grampa is a legal adult having one beer.".
However, she went and told her father. Then, she made sure I knew she told him. (My ex didn't care).
Anyway, there is a HUGE area-wide community gathering tonight about addiction. I want to take her. It is addiction/alcohol/drug based because our drug/OD rate is out of control here. It's an epidemic. I want to take her because she is so hung up on alcohol, I fear she doesn't even know what else is out there.
My fear is that this will back-fire. I am afraid she will start using this info to say "I learned that you aren't supposed to drink alcohol Grampa and there is no "safe" amount. (let's just say they mention in the meeting)." She will probably blow up the next time she sees anyone drinking wine at any table in my family (often). She will probably ask my mom, or dad if they've used drugs. She comes from a divided home and is very hard to deal with lately. I don't know if she is too young for this.
However, she is in that pre-teen stage where I actually was using a pretty empty bottle of expensive wine for real flowers and she would chime in about it every day asking if I drank it, when, how fast, then she'd tell me I was a "bad person". I do not smoke, do not use drugs, can't take any pill (Tylenol) without her asking why I am taking meds and so on.
Should I even attend this? She said I am "punishing" her by making her go after a "long" day at school. Thoughts on this? Ty