Thank you all, I'm glad you share the peace this brings.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
When my time came to let go, it was after a crisis, an important crisis as it turned out because that one crisis among many that I had endured over the years, trying to save my addicted son...that one crisis was the last, it was the one where I said a prayer, told God I could not endure one more day like that and gave it all to Him. Immediately, like the leaf falling from the tree in the words above, I let go and was grateful to leave it all in His hands.