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Old 04-02-2017, 06:01 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
dwtbd
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
I see it as two plans : my plan to never drink again and never change my mind about My plan and my Beast's plan to succeed at getting Its precious supply.

Beast's( the desire for alcohol) plan has been around since it was born and for a long time I indulged It's plan, I drank . I found myself drinking and getting drunk even when I knew I didn't want the consequences and at the same time knowing what the consequences would be. Part of Its plan was to use that feeling of failure and self doubt to get more of Its precious stuff in the future.

When I found SR I learned about RR/AVRT( great threads on these ideas in the Secular Connections forum here on SR) and those ideas helped me to see that Its plan is really just a pipe dream, from Its perspective ( though It never ever realizes this) because for Its plan to work I have to physically put alcohol in my mouth, It has no control over my bodily functions, It is only the desire for alcohol, a desire by itself can literally not do anything other that let Its presence known.

My plan is to accept that that desire may well be present from time to time, but my plan ( Big Plan in AVRT) is to never drink again and never change my mind, which given that that I have the control means my plan, will always trump Its plan.

Any doubt of my ability to remain abstinent or plan for future alcohol use , is the AV( addictive voice , the beast's bark) , by recognizing and separating from those thoughts, by seeing them as coming from IT and not me(my truer more rational self) I am able to dismiss them out of hand.

The idea that we walk a tightrope , that we have to tentatively hold to a perilous path, that ruin can come at us without warning is by definition AV . I have found it is entirely possible to set my confidence in the fact that my BP trumps ITs at 100%, ITs plan can only succeed if I adopt it. And I have decided that I am finally finished with living through the consequences of Its plan succeeding.
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