"I find the tightrope analogy more worrying..."
the great thing is you don't have to use that analogy and can change your idea of what getting sober means.
I also can relate to the fear early on. for me it was fear of failure- something I didn't know I had pretty much my entire life. the great fat is that with recovery, there was only one way I would end up drinking- if I allowed it to happen. I didn't call it a tightrope walk- I knew the consequences of drinking AND was putting in footwork at changing me- I was lookin at my past and at causes and conditions for my resentments,fears, and everything else and was workin hard at changing me.it was imperative that I FINALLY take responsibility for my life.
early recovery wasn't easy for me. I had the mental obsession pretty strong for some time. well, actually, the mental obsession wasn't there until the fog wore off. then it was there. I have a feeling, beings how I had such low self esteem and a lot of times int he past I said," im gonna mess this up anyways,so screw it" that if I would have called it a tightrope walk, I would have said "screw it.im gonna fail anyways."