I'm here tonight, trying to make right CHOICE
My head hurts, my back is killing me, I'm irritable, I want to drink tonight because I know it would help the pain, but I also know it would be short term; and then the after effects would be even worse.
I did not get even half of the house work done today that I needed to do. My 3 year old has been very busy and no nap!
My bf who got out of jail on Thursday, and has basically been an a** to me our entire relationship (1 1/2 yrs). I'm sick of the cursing, name calling, and emotional abuse whenever he gets mad or offended. He takes everything out on me, not physically, but the unkind words and yelling still hurt my feelings and make me feel unloved.
My new recovery book came in the mail today and I'm excited to get started on that tonight instead of drinking. I just wish the headache would go away so I could at least get something done.
Thinking of HALT, I have felt angry and lonely today. And I feel like such a failure when I am not productive. And people in my family always remind me of that, even if in subtle ways. If I'm not doing something for them, then I'm useless. And I hate feeling that way. I just want everyone to be happy and peaceful, and not fighting all the time!
On a positive note, I made chicken fajitas for dinner and they were delicious. And I did a fun craft with my daughter and got outside a bit before it started raining. Now I'm here, and I'm really gonna try to get thru the night and make it to a meeting soon as well.
Sorry for the long post.