I was lucky my wife never really got like that with me. I'm really surprised too. But it was something i had pondered and I just figured it was her problem if she felt this way or that way. Oh yes sure my track record this or that but that was behind me and I did not expect this to be an issue any further so why concern myself with it at all? Like i said I felt if the issue arose it was the other persons issue. Why? becuase no amt of words nothing i say is going ot be able to reassure them and make them feel better. that is something only the can resolve in themselves for themselves. All ic an do is keep my side of the street clean and stay sober and do what i gotta do etc..
I guess sometimes you gotta pick your problems wisely. I dunno about you but for me each day has enough friggen nonsense i gotta contend too. Something like resassureing someone for the 89321321321 time that i'm not gonna drink again well whats the sense. I mean say you relapse again what did the reassureance effort cost ya? a lot of headache and then you fail what was the point in trying to reassure the person with words? Say you dont relapse and you stay sober what did the reassurance effort cost ya? a lot of headache and they may or may not buy your story anyhow so now your left walking away still frustrated etc.. You then go into another obstacle of life alreadying feeling knocked down a knotch over this issue of how someone else feels when you cant MAKE them feel this way or that way. They are gonna efel however they are gonna feel.
The only thing you can do is the same thing you've been doing just stay the course and dont drink in time the rest of all this other "stuff" works its way out. this is easier too becuase your not sitting her worried over every little detail driving yourself bonkers over it when theres more important fish to fry.
Not to discount your wifes feelings tho there justfified. My point tho is theres nothing you can really do just wait for time and longer sober time to heal it all etc..