I did the same thing for a while. Went to meetings and was still drinking all the while. It isn't a terribly uncommon experience but why waste your time if you're not going to get serious about it. Just going to meetings is not going to remove the desire to drink, that has to come from you. Do the work, admit you're an alcoholic and you can't control it. Just surrender. Just give up. Get a sponsor. Once you do Step 1, things should be more clear as to how alcohol is ruining your life. It's like being possessed by a demon. It's so difficult to get rid of, but you have to have that resolve or else you probably need an inpatient program to at least get you started. Good luck!