Hi Mera,
Just catching up on your post. I am sorry you are drinking again, you mentioned trying to get back into rehab, you seemed to be doing really well when you were there, I think it will be really important for them to help you come up with a plan for after. Maybe they can help connect you with a female psychiatrist to follow up with.
Is your plan to stay in Italy? Do you think coming back to the US to be with family for a bit might help you? I know that your kids would be a big factor in that decision.
You have done this before, and you can do this again.
Keep posting!!
❤Delilah