It's certainly a terrible situation. Alcohol really changes people... When I was in rehab, so many people said they didn't even know who they were because they'd been altering reality for so long. But a person can only take so much. It sounds like you've been beyond understanding with him, but right now the illness has him in its grip and you don't deserve to be constantly putting yourself at risk. It's tragic, because I suspect that he does feel shame and embarrassment... But this horrible disease knows no logic or reason!