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Old 03-24-2017, 09:10 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
PistachioCake
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by VigilanceNow View Post
It sounds like your poor fiancé is completely out of control. The best way I can describe it is that as soon as you take one sip as an alcoholic, nothing else matters except getting more (and more and more). Are you planning on staying with him? He will probably need a detox, as it sounds like it's become a chemical addiction in addition to mental. Once he gets completely sober, maybe his head will clear up and he can see the damage he's caused. I know when I drink, it's often to forget about the things I've done while drunk, as illogical as that sounds. Shame is a huge part of the disease.

That said, if he won't get help... You know alcoholism is progressive, and it can always get worse. I won't advise you on what to do in terms of your relationship, but just keep that in mind. It's an unfortunate reality...
No, I won't stay with him. There's been too much hurt and worry. He has some wonderful qualities, is excellent at his trade, and talented but it's even hard for me to say that now. Alcohol has replaced those things. I don't like being anxious and nervous. I have always been happy and joyful inside. I won't let anyone take that away from me. I won't mistreat him and I'm pretty sure it won't be easy to end it all but I can do it. Thank you so much for your reply and for being honest. I need to hear it. Also, you said you feel shame and it makes you drink more. One time when I let him come back I picked him up at a hotel. He was sober, shaking, and crying. He told me he knew he built his family and me up just enough to break us down again and he wanted to stop. Was he feeling shame? His sobriety lasted only a few days.
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