Thank you for sharing all of that.
I think thats the problem with addiction. Why its so hard to break.
It lies, and actually works in the brain to change the thinking. Its hard to make the right choices when your brain is lying to you.
I can sort of relate. I have done plenty of things where I would stand there with the decision in front of me, and I knew I was making a choice that wasnt right for me - but I went ahead and did it anyway because its was easier for my mind to minimize the negative feelings/results in the future vs. how i was feeling at that moment. My stuff would probably sound silly so I wont even mention these trying events. of course it could get you to laughing which might be helpful. LOL
Yes! My husband is in treatment. He tried a lot of things that didnt work for him like an outpatient and an inpatient, and 12 step. But he settled into therapy. And we were told that to treat cocaine addiction one of the best tools to use is cognitive behavioral therapy. So he is doing that to deal with the addiction issue. He also practices mindfulness / stress reduction techniques. Sometimes when he would feel uneasy and said he had a sense of cravings - he would use our gym equipment at home and do a good work out. I think it alters the chemicals in the body.
He also has been working on underlying emotional issues with his doctor. He is pretty open about all of it and has told me a lot of things he has learned about his perception of self, of his childhood, of his role in life. But all of it has helped him heal, and just be more healthy.
I dont know if he will lapse again. Its possible. I hope that if he does then he will be able to stop it fairly quickly. I hope the skills he has learned will allow him to fight back the little voice that lies to him.
I will have to ask him about his nose. I never thought about it getting messed up. I actually googled it after I saw you posting yesterday and found info on it. Saw some pictures, not pretty some of them.
I hope you can get past the cravings tonight. Do you know what triggered it to start with?