ChiefBromden

First of all, you need to know that yes, it's possible. I can do it, and so can you.

Other than that... on the negative motivation side I knew that my "best friends" were starting to turn against me. What "worked" for a long time - feeling less stressed, the immediate relief - stopped doing so. One day you wake up to the fact that the stuff you are addicted to stops working altogether, or even makes you feel even more miserable, without the relief. But you are still addicted, so you need to take it. That's a nightmare, and I was very close to that point.

On the positive side... I remembered a time, as a kid, as a teen, where I didn't need all these substances to feel "normal", sometimes even happy. I thought there was no reason I couldn't go back to that mental space. Sure, you grow up, more responsabilities, more bad experiences, but you can still find pleasure, or peace with yourself.

And I was right. I did find a new balance. I did find new passions. (piano, DIY - fixing up the house, ...)

But most importantly... being able to live without that doom of being addicted, without being scared out of my mind to run out of pills or booze, the feeling of throwing away who I was, the cliche of the addict who dies early... that is just priceless.

Expect to feel bad for a while. Truly bad. Your brain will scold you. WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOT TAKING PILLS FFS! But it's just a feeling, and it WILL pass. You know it will pass. You will feel foggy, horrible, wondering if you aren't making a huge mistake, wondering if you are unique, and therefore just *need* to take the pills, but it's just a feeling, and it will pass. Your brain will adjust to the new situation, the craving will subside. Instead, an incredible feeling of pride - "yes, I can live without all that stuff weighing me down." will emerge. Pride, and an immense feeling of freedom.

Best thing I ever did.

Distraction worked too. Doing something, anything to make the cravings go away. Walk, play with the dogs, read, take a shower, stuff yourself with icecream, or whatever. As long as it distracts you for long enough to keep from giving up. And then you notice a weird thing... those cravings don't last as long in real time. as they feel. There's a great thread on urge surfing here, but I don't have the link ready.

Anyway.

My way or feelings are not the only way. If I knew exactly how it worked, how I did it, how it would work for you, I would bottle that and become silly rich. . You have to find your own ways, tricks, rituals that work for you. Even if they seem silly: if they help you calm down, help you find freedom from pills, it's not silly at all.

And most importantly... if you feel you might cave, do yourself a big favor, and post about it here. People might be able, and are more than willing, to help you through it.