Hi Rigger and welcome. I am the guy who drank and destroyed his family in very dramatic (not physical abuse of others btw) way. I tried everything (that worked- not) but I was so addicted- I did not see where it was leading. My wife is now my ex- and I have no contact with her or my 2 adult sons- except divorce stuff, which again btw- I agreed to her wants- for healing.
No one could stop me- except death- mine, 3 times. As has been said- you cannot make your partner get better, You cannot control her behaviour. Stay safe- especially if you have children. Make informed decisions that does not leave you the victim of the addicted victim in years to come. To stay with a person in active addiction who does not try to heal- is putting your life on hold.
My empathy, compassion and support to you and your partner. I agree with all the sugg's above.
Keep posting. PJ