What Bobbi said.
I was your wife....I would NOT get outside help. Screw that.
My husband decided he wanted recovery for himself (alcoholism is a family disease). He went to Al-anon and counseling. I continued to drink.
I drank for 6 more years until I was ready to stop. I needed to go get done and that is what it took for me to be open to outside help. The gift of desperation is truly a gift in that sense.
Long story short....today (8 years after my decision to accept help), we are happily married and both working our recovery programs. We have been together for 20 years now. Life is amazing. BUT it takes willingness and a crap-ton of work.
Glad you are here. Keep reading these boards. There is a lot of wisdom here. :-)
mfanch