Hello. I worked very hard to get all the 'stuff' my family never had. BUT I did it drinking- increasingly more heavily. In a doctorate program, great academic job, nuclear wonderful family. BUT it did not feel right. Because I got it all drunk. I felt a liar. A hypocrite. So my solution? Not give a toss and drink myself (indirectly but literally) to death. Now I have lost everything. You are seeking answers to questions about your life. With big changes in your life coming up- well I moved, changed jobs, but the reasons for me drinking did not stay in the old house or the old job. They followed me. I hope you get support for this- otherwise in 10 years time you may look back at the post you shared and wished the outcomes were different.
Support to you. Keep posting. PJ