Berrybean

For me personally, my journey of recovery has left me in no doubt at all about what stands between me and 'Wisdom' (i.e. making the choice that will bring long term serenity over instant gratification or relief). Those obstacles? Fear and ego every time. It took a lot for me to realise that my old thinking was duff (after all I've got a Cambridge degree. Besides, my mum says I was born knowing everything. I'm a right proper smart-arse lol). But recovery taught me much more of value than studies at uni ever did, and didn't land me a pile of student debt either. This may sound silly, but I really did think I had to act on bad feelings and thoughts. I could not see how it could ever be possible to look at them and let them float on. I'd kind of Velcro myself to them and sit with those thoughts or feelings til some other monstrosity came along to Velcro myself to. I got it in the end though. Same as getting that love is not just a feeling. It's an action word. A verb. We need to DO love to make it grow in us. As we light little fires of love by helping other people, we are warmed by it and guided by it ourselves as well. And that how recovery fellowships work. There is really very little distinction between giving and taking, no matter how it might seem to the newcomer. We get better, and get to stay better, by giving it away.

If you're in London there will be hundreds of meetings that you could choose from. Why not have a look at what's available, lean into your fear and toddle along to a few of them. Even if all you do is sit and listen and drink bad coffee. It's good to feel that fellowship and hear the experience, strength and hope that comes from others.

Take care.