Are you prepared to draw lines in the sand and follow through if she crosses them? That was helpful to me, it didn't fix me but it did push me in the right direction by making it clear that my employer and my wife, separately, were tired of the behavior associated with the drinking, and would not put up with it anymore. Following through could mean many things, up to and including divorce, but something less permanent might be a place to start? This will also help and empower you, personally.