Originally Posted by
paulokes 
Miami no no no, absolutely no
I did steps 1-3 'on my own'I guess and the outcome was willingness ask for help to move forward with the rest of the program. There often is no work to be done for 1-3.
Nobody wanted to tell me how to run my home, to prove willingness or for any other reason. I would have run a mile if they did.
We took action together for steps 4-12...reading through the big book (specifically), talking about the book, talking about how I could do the very specific things outlined in the book with him sharing his own experience to guide me...steps 4,5 and 9 are the major ones where folks often try to suggest they have 'sorta already done those steps'. As a sponsor I would insist that the slow down and do them the AA way, as they would kinda be missing out otherwise
The 'Real AA' is like a way of living...a code, a set of principles, a different way of viewing the world. It's something that comes after your entire perspective has been changed. This change of perspective comes from working through these steps to the best of our ability.
We find the real AA by DOING the program and then learning to LIVE it, with or without a sponsor. People in meetings are folks we meet along the way...some are a great support, some aren't. Some (IMO) are also living the real AA, some aren't. You find the real AA by finding the right person who will take you through the program of AA properly instead of substituting it for their own favourite psychological theories, Cont rolling behaviours, desire to be liked or their own inability to work the program effectively in their own lives.
Sorry if it often sounds like we speak in riddles Miami...it is hard to describe and yep communication online is prone to misunderstanding
P
Thanks for the clarification.
I left the program because I found myself talking to my non-alcoholic, non-addict friends about the difficulties I was having staying clean, talking to them when I had cravings, and generally just getting some sympathetic understanding.
That was so much more useful than editing what I said to people in the program. I used to get roasted after meetings for sharing my weakness and fears instead of my strength and hope. But after leaving the program I realized that I needed to share it all--hope, fear, strength and weakness.
I gave it close to 8 years and never found anyone like what you describe in the program. When I left the program, I was finally able to get clean and sober. The foundation of my recovery was rigorous honesty, connection to something bigger then myself, and helping others. These all seem consistent with the literature of AA, but much more difficult to live inside the program. For me anyway.
It sounds though like you found some sanity within the program. You are indeed fortunate.