Originally Posted by
miamifella 
I may be confused, but didn't you say that you did the first three steps without a sponsor? Your experience here sounds similar to mine--that a sponsor does not just take your word, but expects you to demonstrate that you have done the step. (To go back on topic, this demonstration usually takes the form of following direction about behavior in the workplace and/or home.)
And where do you find the real AA if not through the people you find at meetings? I was always told that working through the literature with a sponsor was the heart of the program. Isn't the whole point of meetings making these kinds of connections? If that is superficial, where else do you go to find help?
Miami no no no, absolutely no
I did steps 1-3 'on my own'I guess and the outcome was willingness ask for help to move forward with the rest of the program. There often is no work to be done for 1-3.
Nobody wanted to tell me how to run my home, to prove willingness or for any other reason. I would have run a mile if they did.
We took action together for steps 4-12...reading through the big book (specifically), talking about the book, talking about how I could do the very specific things outlined in the book with him sharing his own experience to guide me...steps 4,5 and 9 are the major ones where folks often try to suggest they have 'sorta already done those steps'. As a sponsor I would insist that the slow down and do them the AA way, as they would kinda be missing out otherwise
The 'Real AA' is like a way of living...a code, a set of principles, a different way of viewing the world. It's something that comes after your entire perspective has been changed. This change of perspective comes from working through these steps to the best of our ability.
We find the real AA by DOING the program and then learning to LIVE it, with or without a sponsor. People in meetings are folks we meet along the way...some are a great support, some aren't. Some (IMO) are also living the real AA, some aren't. You find the real AA by finding the right person who will take you through the program of AA properly instead of substituting it for their own favourite psychological theories, Cont rolling behaviours, desire to be liked or their own inability to work the program effectively in their own lives.
Sorry if it often sounds like we speak in riddles Miami...it is hard to describe and yep communication online is prone to misunderstanding
P