Originally Posted by
MicroMacro 
Hi,
I can relate to your drinking habits. I used to drink 4 bottles of wine a day for years. And I can relate to the painful liver - I used to walk around pushing on mine to alleviate the burn. And I can relate to tapering - I've done it numerous times. Sometimes, I was successful - other times I had to go to the ER or back into treatment.
I've been to treatment seven times and I've tried numerous recovery programs. The only thing that's working for me is throwing myself into my education and the promise of an exciting new career. That's how big the lifestyle change has to be for me. And I still think about drinking sometimes, but I don't crave alcohol and that alone feels like a miracle.
I really fought against getting sober, though. So, maybe you won't need to make such extreme gestures in your own life. Fill your time with things you love to do. Set small and attainable goals.
What do you love to do?
What are you going to do with that $200.00 each month when you aren't spending it on alcohol?
Best
Yes, the liver pains aren't very fun to live with day to day. Some days I have no pain, other days it bothers me all day long. It's usually dull pains, but I'm not ignorant, I know it's because of drinking. I'm just hoping if I stop drinking it will go away (since your liver is one of the most "reboundable" organs in your body), but I also do the same. Constantly rubbing my side when it starts hurting to alleviate the dull ache.
I feel like tapering will work well for me, because I know what withdrawal is like and I'm not psychologically weak in any way since I've overcome a couple different addictions (opiates, spice (which was worse than opiate withdrawal)), but it's the fear of death that scares me about quitting alcohol. However, I've had friends taper off of alcohol, so I think I can do the same. From what I've read, as long as you set a schedule and you stick to it, and drink enough to keep the shakes away and slowly cut down on your intake, it's safe to do and wouldn't require medical attention. I don't think I'll have any kindling issues that would put me in the ER since I've never attempted to quit drinking before. I've always felt too hooked, until now. I'm finally ready to make the change.
I'm not a huge fan of spending my time sober either, which is why I need to find a new outlet. I used to smoke marijuana daily, but after spice addiction, my cannabanoid receptors are damaged to the point that if I smoke real marijuana, I go into an anxiety/panic attack unless I'm out with friends (usually drinking), which in that case, it defeats the purpose of me trying to quit. So I'm thinking I'm going to avoid that and this time try to stay completely sober.
I've also been focusing on my career, which is why I'm studying for the CCNA, and while I'm studying my urge to drink drops dramatically, so I think that will really help if I focus on that even more than what I am now.
Other than that, I don't know what I love to do. My life is full of nothingness, just drinking and staying home. All my friends have moved away, some of them have died from drug overdoses, so for the most part I'm all alone. I don't really have many hobbies or anything worth-while, so I figured I'd stop by here and see what other people do to cope, and maybe try to find something that fits me and encorporate something like that within my life. I'm thinking maybe trying to find someplace social and meet new friends and stuff might help. I enjoy going fishing, going to the gun range, hanging out with what friends I have left, but that's about all I do.
That $200 a month I don't spend on alcohol I could do so, so many things. Buy things I need, put it towards a new IT certification, save up money for a new house, etc. I could do a lot with that $200, and that's a major part of the motivation for me, aside from my health. My health comes first, and that's what I'm most worried about.
Thank you for your response, I appreciate it.
P.S. If it makes a difference, I'm only 22. I feel like liver pains at 22 years old is a major warning sign to quit drinking. Started drinking regularly at 17/18 years old.