I'm going to meetings a lot. Part of my problem is that I get bored at home, so I drink. I work 4 10's, so have 3 days off every week. I have a herniated disk and am in too much pain to exercise, and live in a remote area, so no gyms or pools nearby. Yesterday, I went to an 8am meeting, then to church, and immediately after that I went to a noon meeting. What did I do when I left the meeting? Well, hubs had asked for me to pick up food from Applebee's. Guess what they have at Applebee's? A bar. 2 beers and 2 shots later, I headed for home. Oops wait... there's another favorite watering hole kind of on the way home. More beer and shots. Feeling guilty for leaving hubs without food, so headed home. Guess what? When I asked if he wanted to go over to the last bar where I was, he said sure! Several hours and some blackout time later, I woke up feeling guilty and stupid AGAIN.
The advice I've had... go to more meetings. Pray every day to not drink today. Read more big book. Find a women's meeting. Find a sponsor (lots of asking, no volunteers yet).
I want sobriety and I want it badly! The program has darn good people. They care, they help, they have worked hard on their lives and their honesty. I want all that and whatever other good stuff they have!
Must stop drinking. Praying that I make it through today. Sigh.
