Originally Posted by
paulokes 
The 'shaming' thing is interesting Miami. I also entered AA as a professional living in a fancy city centre apartment. I was ashamed to let anyone give me a lift home in case anyone saw my swanky flat
Haha.
I was paranoid that others somehow looked down on me because I had it better than them. I was wrong all that was entirely in my head.
I would feel bad about sharing about work....that was also my own ego and unneccesary.
Although to honest I notice now the healthier people don't share about work at meetings. Not because they're ashamed but because it is of absolutely no interest to 90% of the people in the room.
If I work in a bank what use is it to everybody else to talk about how stressful it is working in a bank? So we talk in a general way, about our more human experiences so that more people can identify. Instead 9f just thinking about ourselves and using AA as some kind of venue to vent our emotions and have others listen.
Really sorry Miami...the more I hear of this the more I think this is your issue not AAs.
P
I do think that one of the limits of forums is that things get confused. During meetings in my experience, people share about work in a general way and do not get too specific. There are exceptions, but I think most people feel the way you do. That said, it is not hard to read between the lines to draw conclusions about what kind of responsibilities they face.
But in conversation before and after meetings it does come up. And it was always something sponsors were interested in.
I have to admit, I do not recognize the real-life AA I know from your posts. How do you prove to a sponsor that you have done a step, without sharing about your life with them?
What kind of direction do sponsors and other AA folk give if it is not about your life?
The AA I know is a program about action. I did not like the actions requested of me so I left about nearly 8 years in the program. However the principles are still key for me.
Since I am open about my past I am often approached by people who need help with alcoholism and other addictions. I usually sent them to 12-step recovery, since that seems to work for the widest variety of people. But I do worry about the intrusiveness of people in the program and recommend sharing as little personal information as possible.
This was my strategy in my last few years in the program, but as a result I was often asked why I was not fully engaged in the program anymore. And I think they were right. If no one knew what was going on with me, how could they make any suggestions?
I think this does come back to the subject of the thread, which is that we can best help those we understand. I saw it a lot after meetings when non-parents would approach parents with suggestions that were way off-base, because the non-parent just did not get what having a child was like. And there were two hospital workers who would always pair up because they understood the pressures each others faced. I have heard that there are in some towns meetings specifically for doctors, which makes sense to me as well since I can only imagine what they face.
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I am surprised that you never heard the recommendation that one stay in a humble job until you are sober or clean for at least 3 to 5 years. It may be the influence of rehabs down here or it may be an NA thing, but I heard it so much in AA was well--often in connection with the 9th step promise that fear of financial security will leave us. I thought this was as common an AA trope as 90 in 90 and no new sexual relationships in the first year.