DesertDawg

Perfectly stated. I suppose I was high-functioning by outward appearances. Good-paying, responsible job, dutifully getting up at 4am every Monday morning to get on a plane to fly to California for work. But on the weekends, it was *ON*. At least a gallon of vodka every weekend...so much better than having a life. Did that for years. It CAN be done...for awhile. But I'm not 26 anymore. Those Monday mornings had become pure hell. Had a withdrawal seizure on a business trip to Seattle, ended up in the hospital in a strange city, with no friends/family around. Thank God, I have an understanding employer w/good insurance, and I got help before there were any real consequences. Still have the job, still get on a plane every Monday morning. Much easier now, much less anxiety, no more irrational sense of foreboding, no more sweating through my shirt. The thought of going back to that 'high-wire act', as August252015 so eloquently described it, fills me with dread so bad that I don't even think about drinking.