Welcome to SR Northeast
sheer bloody mindedness mostly. I'm good at that.
the first ten years of my drinking I hit every deadline, crossed every T...immense effort required.
The second ten years my alcoholism over took me...by the end I'd lost 2 careers and teetering on a third... was drinking all day everyday.
From this distance tho I don't think I was functioning at all..not even in those first ten years. I was presenting one face to the world while inside I was screaming and crying.
Not much functional about that.
I think to myself now..what if I'd been able to use all that effort for other things...?
who knows?
D