jdl....that she would relapse was quite predictable, given her attitude about go ing to meetings. A person who really wants to get sober will do anything that it takes to get sober .
I suggest that you go to the "stickies" at the top of this forum.....Select "Classic Reading"....and read the article titled: "10 Ways to know if your addict or alcoholic is full of crap".....that is a pretty good yardstick with which to know whether they are ready for recovery or not.....
Regarding your question.....If it were me, I would say so something like this----"I see that you have returned to drinking"....I she denies it, which she probably will---I would say "That was not a question, it was a statement".."I know what I know, so this is not up for debate"......
Then, it gives the opportunity for you both to put the cards out on the table (or at least, you)...so that you can discuss what this means in terms of your marriage....
As you will learn, as you read "Classic Readings" and continue to study...you will come t understand that alcoholism is something that a person has to do for themselves...and that, outside of not enabling them....it is up to them....