DeniseKS.....one thing that jumped out, to me, from your post is the fact that you say that you have entered a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable and has problems with intimacy.....that you seek your emotional support from.....
doesn't that sound a little like going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread.....
And, you have been pushing your friends away...(that inplies that you did have friends and you are capable of making friends)......
Even introverts need social interaction and connections. They just need it in a different pattern and in different ways than some other people do. but, I have never heard that isolating away, as a total diet, a path to satisfaction.....
I'm just saying......
I have seen some books, on amazon.com, specifically for ACOAs...if you have never studied the literature.....