I really don't like black and white mentality either when it comes to relationship issues, psyche issues, addiction issues, etc. IMHO the better therapists and Dr.'s are open-minded. Some are not equipped with an open mind; maybe that is something that can be learned; I don't know. The older I get the less judgmental I am growing; the more I see and experience the more I realize that "Hey, that could happen to me. " Addiction doesn't discriminate. Falling in love does not discriminate. I want to be as wise as a serpent, but as harmless as a dove and that's a balancing act. The harmless as the dove part is where we help others and don't do anything to hurt someone else. The wise as the serpent part is to be able to do that and not get burned. Or to somehow get out of situations before we get burned. Sometimes we are just lucky. Sometimes we are unfortunate. When our feelings get wrapped up in something it is very hard to let go; to detach. I can understand how you could fall for her...it sounds as though she was attractive and perhaps there is just something about when a woman is earnestly desperate; not an act and not being manipulative but one that TRULY needs your help. That does appeal to men...some men can't resist it, I suppose. It does sound like she was in dire straits there. I just try to imagine what it must be like to give your baby up for adoption. I don't think I could do that! And if I did, it would rip my heart out. I would feel like dying.