Originally Posted by biminiblue
I just want to say, he cannot refuse to "give " you a separation.
YOU get an attorney and a plan and you just do it. Of course he's not going to agree, that's okay. He doesn't need to.
An alcoholic does not often become a social drinker - but the problem is defining what is an alcoholic; which if he drinks to drunkenness and it's causing family problems - sounds pretty quacky. Regardless, you have a right to live in an alcohol free zone if that's important to you.
If you want out, he doesn't really have any say and it sounds like you're ready. As a matter of fact, you've stayed a year and some months longer than when you were ready. I say, put on your boots! He's going to throw up roadblocks. Step over them.
I guess I was hoping that he would be on board with a separation. It would make me feel better about doing it. However, I think it'll break his heart. We get along well when he's not drinking. He treats me good and we do things together. That's what's keeping me around (for now).
I am a conflict avoidant person. I'm working on that though. . .