Scared wife,
I agree with ataloose. I am not sure when it became the wife's job to baby sit an adult man. I am sorry, but if he wants to drink, if you are there or not, he will drink. Being with your addict 24/7 is not fun, what do you do when you go to the bathroom? That 5 minutes it take you he can do multiple shots by then. They will hide the smell with gum, candy or garlic, who knows what he will use to cover up their breath, and who cares. Addicts are con artists and will do anything to protect their addiction.
We all have to remember recovery is about growing up, sobering up and working a program. Its not just about putting away the alcohol. Go up to the top of this page and search a dry drunk, hes not drinking but is still angry, abusive and all the other traits our addicts have.
Lets try and treat our addicts with respect and dignity. If they choose to drink get out of their way. You also have choices in life. You don't need to be around a drunk. Leave the room, house or town. This is what we learn in alanon about setting up boundaries for us. We don't need to tell them that we will not be around it, we just need to show them. Pack your bag and leave the home. Come back when he is sober. You do not have to partake in his circus.
Hang in there ladies, there is so much to learn on this forum.