Old 03-10-2017, 01:27 PM
  # 260 (permalink)  
argillaceous
Member
 
argillaceous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 275
Ack. Day 13 has now turned into Day 1.

It was my birthday yesterday, the day I joined and first posted. I had hoped that I could keep AV at a distance, but it is a crafty devil, and started the dialogue early in the day (if not the day before):

"Happy birthday," AV said, "I know you have always thought this was a special day in the year for you to reflect on the coming year for you."

"Yes," I replied. "More than New Year's, this is my time to look forward."

"What a great idea," AV countered, all innocent-like. "I noticed you haven't been drinking. Great for you! But you seem different, somehow."

"Yes, this is a journey I have pursued for many, many (many) years, but this is the only the second time it's taken hold, and the first time I feel like I actually might change my path."

To which the AV replied: "Wonderful! Change is always exciting. But I remember you always liked to have a great meal and a cocktail, and wine, and after-dinner drinks on your birthday. It's too bad you can't do that this year. I noticed how hard you worked the past 13 days." To which I could only reply: "What, AV, 30+ years of progressively-worse drinking is not enough for you?" AV just smiled. And waited.

Tonight, AV won out. I pushed back on it this afternoon with what I've read here over the past week and a half: have a plan. I chose to picture myself asking for water when the waiter asked for drinks, and then focusing on the menu. But in the end I didn't feel like going out. Instead, had a lovely meal at home...complete with a bottle of wine. Plus whatever I could find in the liquor cabinet (had already cleaned out the hard stuff). Found a small amount of low-alcohol specialty-flavored mixer, which I, of course, drank (yuck). Sigh.

But I know from reading here, and from my recent 13 days, that no matter what happens, every day without a drink makes AV smile a little less, and me smile a lot more.

Here's to smiling. And to Day 1. And mostly to SR and its community, which has helped me get this far, and I hope will help me get to a new Day 13 and beyond.
argillaceous is offline