Originally Posted by
PuzzledHeart 
I am very confused.
Couple questions:
1) Who exactly is this "AA Professional"? And just how many interventions has he/she done? More importantly, why did this "AA Professional" feel like he/she could hold this intervention without at the very least talking to you?
2) This whole "immature, no offense" deal. So it's mature to make a threat about leaving when you're not ready to do so in the hope of manipulating somebody's behavior, in this case your AH's?
Something smells very fishy to me.
That said, what Katiekate said is right. All these shenanigans do not actually prevent you from leaving. You're tired of being your AH's babysitter. You're tired of being a punching bag. You're tired of being treated like a two year old by your inlaws by being left out the intervention process, if there was one to actually begin with. I read your posts, and I hear a person who is just about to snap.
Absolutely agree. I think making a threat to leave and then coming back is not the best way to handle this. If I come back, he'll see that he can change temporarily and I'll come back.
This "AA professional" is someone who has known the family for a long time and has had experience with AA. I think she is an older lady, in her 70s or 80s, from the sound of it. I have no idea what her AA experience entails or whether she is a certified therapist (from the sounds of it, she is not actually a professional). I do wish she would have talked to me before making that assessment. This situation is pretty bad and someone making suicidal threats, even if vague, should not be ignored.
I am definitely tired of being his punching bag and babysitter. If I stay for a few months to see how his progress is, I am not going to let his alcoholism dictate my life. I will go out to events when I want to and I will not let his abusive words hurt me anymore. I am in therapy myself and I can learn more tools about how to emotionally guard myself so it doesn't hurt as much. I can also start learning how to be OK being alone with myself and learn how to let go, in case he does not get better. Either way, this situation is awful. I was really hoping his parents' intervention would hit the reset button or change the pattern in some way
What do you think the fishy stuff is? And do you think AH is going to snap?