it sounds like you feel you are a block in a Jenga tower and that if pulled will cause the WHOLE THING to crash to the ground. let's see - family will HATE you, kids will be scarred for life, friends will desert you, your husband's drinking will spiral out of control and you will be alone for the rest of your life.
i realize i am paraphrasing a bit, but i hope you get the idea. using one of my fave terms, you are "disasterfying" the situation.
so now that we have that out of our system....can you think of ANY positives or benefits that might result from moving? start with YOU.