You might find some use in reading through these threads, batchel:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ss-2017-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eb-thread.html
And there is a new one for March here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ch-thread.html
As far as getting past the feelings? I think when I realized I could feel ONE set of terrible feelings for as long as I stayed with him--living in the sadness, loneliness, fear, and dishonesty of active alcoholism--hoping there might be an end in sight but not knowing if it might really ever happen
OR
I could feel a slightly different set of bad feelings that DID have an end in sight--the loneliness and fear of starting over, making my own way, moving on.
I chose the short-term pain for long-term gain. I won't kid you, it wasn't easy, but
it can be done, and when you come out the other side, there is a life like you can't even imagine right now that is waiting for you.
Really.