I'm so, so sorry. I've been through that too often and I know how painful it is.
I am taking my 19-year-old cat in this afternoon. He is purring and bumping his head against me right now, but he is in end-stage kidney failure. So you have someone here who absolutely understands.
Your dog wouldn't want you to waste your precious life drunk. She would want you to go for a long walk, roll in the grass, and then have a cookie.
Sending you lots of hugs.