I don't know why, but here I sit, with tears in my eyes.
That's the problem. I get into that loop and it's really hard to get myself out. Sends my anxiety through the roof. Brings in all of these feelings about other things that have happened that I keep thinking I am over, but if so, why do they continue to come up in my head.
I have to have regular contact with my XAH for MANY more years. I have to learn to not get my trigger tripped over such small things.
I am going to try the whole scheduling thing. I have thought that I would do so before but never really did. I thought I was getting ready to begin EMDR but now found out the counselor does not take insurance, and that's just not something I can afford. I will speak to my DD's counselor who is going to do that w/her this summer and see what she says.
It's like all of this resides just below the surface of my regular life and I don't know how to deal with it w/out the anxiety it brings.