Originally Posted by
bluedog97 
I've heard this phrase in AA meetings. I can relate to it. I think I have a ginormous ego that I used alcohol to placate.
I laughed out loud when I read the title of this post. Yup, I think most of us would agree to this statement if we were to do an honest self-appraisal.
Now that the booze is gone, I find my other urges and instincts flaring up. The 7 deadly sins come to mind - greed, envy, lust, gluttony, wrath, sloth, and pride. I am victim to all of them.
The 7 deadly sins can also be referred to as "character defects" from the big book of AA. These are the things that block us from God. They're all ego-driven to make us feel better about ourselves but they cause more harm than good. Our mind lies to us and tells us these things will help us. I was taught to ask God to remove them (Steps 6 and 7).
My ego/addiction wants an endless amount of whatever will satisfy it.
Yup. That's alcoholism in whatever form (pills, gambling, drugs, drinking, bulimia, sex, video games, spending, binging....) in a nutshell. We keep listening to the ego/mind/addiction voice (AVRT) to give it what it wants. Also referred to in meetings as "King Baby" lol.
My low self-esteem basically tells me I'm not good enough.
You've come to the right place, lol. That's our ego/mind/beast/the voice/our addiction, whatever you want to call it. I know now that my low self-esteem is based on all lies. No one is better than or less than in the eyes of God; we are equal. And the people who put those "tapes" in my mind that caused the low self-esteem and continue to play decades later--they are spiritually sick and I no longer believe what they said.
The BB of AA talks about how only a spiritual experience will cure our malady.
Yup! I faught it for decades but now that I'm on the other side, I can say from personal experience that the BB was right.
The LAST thing in the world that our ego/addiction wants, is what we really need to recover. What we really need is God. That's the solution.
Our addiction/ego/mind does and says everything possible to get you to avoid having a spiritual awakening, because it doesn't want to be crushed and die. That's why recovery is so hard. (Reminds me of the AA expression of how our addiction does "pushups" as we work on recovering).
"The beast" keeps trying to talk us out of it because it wants us to stay sick. These aren't my original ideas/thoughts here, they are my combined experience, sponsor's guidance, and favorite circuit speakers.