Re:Egomaniac with low self esteem.
Yeah, I hear you, bluedog. If there was one phrase, just one, that can make anyone feel inadequate, especially yours truly, it would definitely be "It’s all in your head", sir. It literally drives me bananas.
I remember hearing this phrase back in 2001 when I began my journey into sobriety. From there, it has morphed into something far more pervasive than anyone originally intended. And that is only the beginning.
What has become abundantly clear, however, despite our best intentions, is the amount of divisiveness that exists, not just in AA, but also in the world. The lack of sympathy we have for others or the world around us can only lead to more conflicts. And if we don’t challenge this supposition, somehow, someway, the unintended consequences may diminish our ability to help others, now and in the future.
The phrase "it's only in my head" seems a bit confusing to me and here’s why. It tries to diminish our own personal struggles through a series of misguided interpretations, and then write it off as some form of mental condition designed specifically for weak minded individuals like yours truly. Doesn’t it sound more like a force-feeding of humble pie than an actual response? It does to me. And what about the struggles we experience every day? Do they have less to do with real life events and the hardships we all endure, and more about our own personal ego trip, or worse? Well, isn’t that convenient? It’s like the struggles we go through are not real, but imaginary. This is where the confusion begins.
Even if the phrase is used properly, it can profoundly change how we view ourselves and others. It can also affect both our physical and mental well-being. More importantly, it may cast a negative light on our own personal ambitions, whether they seem justified or not. So if that is the case, how can anyone, who is of sound mind and body, perceive what is real and what is just a bi-product of our own imagination? Good question.
Now, some might say “You’re being overly sensitive” Maybe, they’re right. If I am, then apologies are forthcoming. But if I’m not, there must be a very good reason, and here’s the reason why. It took me years to realize I needed help and that it wasn’t just in my head. It also took me many years to regain all my mental faculties. So, to me, this phrase implies that nothing that I feel, perceive or think is real, and everything is linked to my current mental state. How unfortunate. To make matters worse, I have to hear this bloody phrase every day at meetings. It can drive me batty.
So if I seem overly dramatic or simply crazy, again, I apologize. It’s not my intentions, at all. If there is one thing I’ve learned, however, despite my reckless intentions, it’s this: We need to see people for who they are and not who we perceive them to be. And how negative connotations like ‘it’s all in your head’ or “it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you” have no place in recovery, at least not in my opinion. It’s where I draw the line, literally. I hope you agree. Onward.