Thank you gregknight.
It's reading about other peoples struggles and how they felt so strongly urged that they had to change - for me that is helping to move me forward. Alcoholism is not poetic or romantic, it just leaves you in pieces. I know for certain it's changed me in a short period of time. I can feel it.
I also know for certain that the other choice will quickly destroy any hopes I have for a decent, healthy and happy life, as well as possibly shorten it by a half or more.
Best to you.