I'm 39, and over the course of my young adult life up to now...I was a casual drinker with a lot of hard binges in between. I had no daily habit, no need to ensure it was centered around all my activities, no need to rationalize my intake, no games were played with buying bottles all over town.
It wasn't until between 30-37 that it changed somewhat to reliance, random blackouts, minimal moderation. I talked about alcohol differently with a tinge of shame attached.
Then my divorce beginning in October 2014. What a perfect opportunity to break ones heart further than by overindulgence x1000. I could have chose a million other healthy habits to help in my healing, but I was ashamed and scared and I hid my pain through drinking. I didn't want anyone to know how bad I was hurting, so I drank.
Then more, and then quite a bit more. And because I don't do anything half-assed, I made sure in those two years I consumed quite a bit. Somehow I ate very well, went to work, maintained my fitness level. But at night...pathetic slurring mess.
Six months ago waking up sweating, depressed, anxious and my life not getting better it became impossible to ignore. Sprinkle in some health issues, and overall lack of satisfaction, being lonelier than I have ever felt and I knew exactly what had to change.