Please Help!
I met a guy 8 months ago and we would often party together, have fun together, talk about everything and before you know it we were in love and couldn't spend a moment without each other. I would go to work, he would go to work. Then suddenly he had no job and I found that I was somehow supporting him financially with basic things (buying food, paying everytime we went out and more..), I knew he liked to drink but when he didn't have the money because he had no job he couldn't access the alcohol. I also enjoy drinking but I do not drink on weekdays only the weekends and socially. When he wasn't working he was actually doing more productive things each day. Then something happened and he got kicked out of the place he was living and I was also looking for a place at the time so we decided after 2 months of dating and basically living in each other's pockets that we would get a place together. After all it seemed right, he needed a place and I needed a place and we were spending every night (and weekends) together anyway....
We also moved to a location because he had a job lined up in the area. Once he started this job he was drinking in the morning at 6am before work, then during the day at work and then he would drink at night. I was finding this frustrating because we could never do things that I enjoyed.. like cooking together, going to a movie.. going for a walk because he would be wasted. Then after a couple of days or running out of money he would sober up and we would do these things I enjoyed and he would be so sweet. Write me notes, get me flowers. Clean the house then on the weekend it would all start again.
The first time I left he was so wasted and we had a huge fight and he broke my computer out of anger and tried to choke me. Then after I left the "I'm sorrys" poured in and I went back after a few days. I thought maybe just maybe it was a once off. He then quit the job he was working and things were good for a month until he started working again and the drinking started again.
I then left a second time. We had another huge fight where he broke my phone and then when I left was saying he was going to kill himself and actually sent me a fake picture so I would come back. He also lost this job and then lied to me about going back to the old one.
Third and final time I hope.. The last weekend this started happening again and I noticed it seemed to be escalating and the lies were continuing. I started to feel like all I do is go to work and come home yet I am constantly accused of cheating on him and copping emotional abuse from him constantly when he is drunk. I talked to a friend of his and they said he's always been like this and he shouldn't drink which made me really start to put everything together. I hadn't spoken to my family or friends like I used to since we moved in together because I was so tired and exhausted from his constant drama. He also contacted my mother saying that I was doing all this when it is him who is doing it which makes me think he also has some serious mental health issues.
I am now at the point where my family I have here are at the point where they have said if I go back one more time they cannot help me anymore. I have tried my best with him and I feel like his "I love you" and "I want to be with you forever" are just something to say because he has nobody else except me... I find I am strong for a few days then I get weak and go back to him and I can't do it again. When I am alone I just feel so sad missing him and wanting him and I just don't know what to do. It's been 2 days since I left and I feel dead inside...
I should also add that I haven't actually heard from him this time that I left yet and I just feel sick at the thought of him contacting me again and falling for his tricks yet again...