jjnorris

So I need some strength to face what is going to happen. My AH has not been drinking for about 5 months now. I will not say he is sober, because he has been smoking pot as a replacement. He has never seen a conselor or attempted a program. About 2 weeks ago he came to me and said he is struggling, he did not feel his life was normal without alcohol. His smoking, which he told me stopped 2 months ago, has been continuous and now almost daily. He also said he wanted to try social drinking. We talked, I told him I was concerned about the weed and the desire to drink, I felt this was a very slippery slope. I suggested perhaps it was time to seek help, but ultimately his decision to use/drink, but he knows my limits. 2 weeks of silence, I became withdrawn and depressed foreseeing the sliphone coming, hurt that he did not want to do more to ensure his sobriety. 2 days ago we had it out again. The conversation went as most of you can guess, ending in him being pissed and stating he is a full grown man who can do what he wants. And he will keep smoking and does intend to try drinking again. I told him I can't do that, I don't want that, can't watch that happen again. For 2 days he has sent me hurtfull texts, saying I don't love him, never have. I don't support him etc, etc. Now we have moved onto the "I love you, and want to talk" stage. I know he will try to get me to ignore my boundaries and concerns. I hate to see him hurting and want to help him, but I can't sacrifice myself again. If I don't stand my ground I know we will be right back here again. I need strength to stick to my decision knowing it is hurting him, knowing I will most likely lose him for good by doing so.