Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
so after he put on the full-court press or whatever and you put up the NO hand.........did you then think that maybe you DID want something more? could this be more about YOUR feelings than his actions?
trust me, i get why you'd be gun shy about letting any man get close. and also how nice it must have been to have a "friend" that happened to be male and was of a different caliber (species???) from your ex.
so let's say the "line blurring" incident had NOT happened.
and then he tells you his possible plans to move away.
i suspect you'd probably still feel.........let down, disappointed, sad? that a person that you trusted and felt comfortable with might be going far away? a brick out of your wall of support?
You're totally spot on... with all of it... I was trying to convince myself that I felt more than I think I do after his full court press so to speak... I think I figured that maybe to sustain things as they were with him (and I did and do enjoy him as a friend) I should make myself more into him than I was...
And when I had him over to chat and try to sort out what a new normal should be, I was taken aback by the "maybe Im moving, maybe not..."
Sigh... I should just learn to be ok with life not being predictable.
Maybe this is more about me needing to learn to cope with things in life being unpredictable sometimes...
Clearly, that is not something I am ok with.... and maybe that's the lesson for me and the work I need to do in all of this...
I am fine with friendships that don't cross beyond a certain line. I control how much I share, what side of me people see etc... And this whole circumstance with my friend, took me by surprise because I had a view of how it would go and felt that it was predictable and then it turned out not to be...