I don't think any of us know why....you are going to have to dig deep within yourself to find that answer. Why do you settle for someone who is unable to connect emotionally? Well, it could just be that he is charming, attractive, wealthy and the two of you hooked up when you did...because you are/were looking for love...most all of us want love, belonging, connection...and you may be willing to settle for something the feels like that but isn't really THAT...not even a close second. What you lacked with your own dad perhaps you are inadvertently trying to find with other men. But, honey, from what little you have described of this man, he is just not really there for you, and there are some red flags and problems going on and the two of you are not even truly 'together'. You saw him in a bar pouring white wine down his neck, unbeknownst to him...but maybe you NEEDED to see that and see it for what it really is. A man pouring wine down his neck. Is this the kind of love you really want or need? Only you can answer that.