I guess for myself, I would look at it as though the stars are not aligned for more, but I would not want to lose a good friend over this.
As far as kids, I get you. I have pretty much decided until my kids are 18 that there won't be any serious men in my life. The risk is much too high for so many things. They need me right now, not me and some guy. I would date sure, if the right guy came along, but absolutely nothing more serious, and likely not have him spend any time w/my kids. Although if it were someone I was already friends with that would be different.
I am happy to have male friends who I trust around my children. They need to see from other males in their lives, grown adults, how men should treat other women and children. Luckily for me, I have some great guy friends who exhibit that to them, as well as their male counselor.
Tight hugs friend. You have been though so much, give yourself a break and know you are a great momma bear!