Makes complete sense. I spent decades trying to reach outside for solutions. If something seemed to work (ie make me feel better) then I'd do it more and more until it became damaging to me, my relationships, or my security. AA and the 12-step program has taught me how to make things better from the inside out. That is pretty much what recovery is. Learning ways that make us feel better without all the insane acting out and compulsive thinking and behaviour.
Good luck with the recovery work. And stick around, keep reading, and keep posting. There is light at the end of this tunnel. While you can't see it, follow those who you meet who have healthy recoveries (they are the ones whose smiles reach their eyes), and they'll lead you until you can see the light yourself.
BB