I can relate so much to this. I started drinking about 14 years ago when I was 12/13 years old and in retrospect I think it was for the wrong reasons from the start.
I looked so much forward to being able to drink when I was a kid. Already as a toddler I played "drinking beer", so I think my obsession with it started before I drank for the first time. For the past 5 years or so I struggled so much with finding the "right approach" to drinking (went from weekly binging to drinking daily a few glasses to not drinking for a while, back to binging and so on) but nothing ever seemed to work for me. It took me ages to realise I was addicted cause I always thought drinking regularly was a normal part of adult life.
So it was very difficult for me to accept that I would have to remove that part from my life. I had never achieved anything either, especially not sober. I wasn't sure who I was gonna be without alcohol since it had always been part of my life. It turned out to be the same person sober that I was drinking, but now I have the chance to really get to know myself and I think that's such a great gift. I rediscovered old interests and developed new ones and have a much better understanding of myself and my emotions already at 4 months sober.
One thought that kept creeping up my back (and still does sometimes) is, how unfair it is to the young alcoholic to only have had this and that many drinking years whereas others can drink for much longer and how horrible the thought is of never drinking again when you (hopefully) still have so much life time left.
To that thought I can say that it's good that WE didn't have more drinking years cause drinking didn't work for us, it destroys us. So the less we drank the less damage we did to our young bodies and minds. And that's really important cause we will need them in the future to enjoy our sober life. And for "not ever drinking again" I think that the "one day at a time" approach helps me best. And to remember that alcoholism is progressive and the active drinking path will only lead to a hell of self destruction and no happiness for me.
Sorry for the rambling, that didn't come out very structured.